Delhi girls are easy?

A few weeks ago, I was talking to an acquaintance about a news item about a young girl who'd been sexually abused by her local guardian. Blackmailed and abused for several months, she finally picked up the courage to file a case against him.

Life vs Lifestyle

This post is closely connected to the last two posts I have written. The routine of a sanskaari bahu may seem very far out to people in this day and age. However, this is still practised across many homes for a number of reasons. Primarily, as Mr Rajiv Nigam puts it, crores of households across our nation choose what they call life over lifestyle.

How to be a sanskaari bahu

I've worked since I graduated from college, through my son's birth and childhood and only decided to stay at home when my daughter was born.

Ever since I have been at home, I am amazed by the amount of time on my hands and I am constantly excited by the fun ways to fill it. I wrote my book in about 6 months after the baby was born. Since then, I have been editing and redrafting it for some two years now, it doesn't even look like the same book any more.

I learnt to sew so that I could make myself maternity clothes. I ended up making my daughter's clothes, my son's kurta pajamas and my own kurtis and skirts. And now I am still sewing up a storm for my handmade babyclothes boutique (a dream which I hope to realise soon).

Prototype Indian family

I have just been watching the desi version of the UK TV show Wife Swap. Telecast on Sony Entertainment TV on Wednesdays and Thurdays, the Indian version - less scandalously named as Maa Exchange - kicked off last week with actress/model Pooja Bedi swapping maternal duties with Anuradha Nigam, wife of TV stand-up comedian, Rajiv Nigam.

Forgetting all about the style of the programming and whether the drama in the show was staged, please watch the show simply to see Rajiv Nigam. Mr Nigam is a prototype of many men I have met. He is a true representation of many Indian males - the sense of entitlement, his alternate worship of and efforts to tame the glamourous Ms Bedi are not dramatised, his teaming up with his male-child and his praising his wife's skills as long as she toes the Lakshman Rekha of "tradition". Believe me, most of the men I have met are EXACTLY like this.

Stop helping your wives

Language is powerful. Historically, it has been a patriarchal tool. Atrocities against women have always been given cute names, thereby reducing the shock value of intrinsically chauvinistic and criminal activities. An example to point is that disgusting euphemism: eveteasing.

Women need to recognise how powerful language can be and take ownership of it. They need to understand it and use it effectively if they ever want to be taken seriously.