To invite or not to invite

For a while now, I've been playing with the idea of making this a subscribed or an invited blog. And I am still unable to figure out a good way to do this. The only option now is to make it private, invite the handful of readers whose email address I do have and hope that the rest will simply ask.

But after a week of trying this, what I realised is that anyone who potentially tries to reach here gets a cold “This blog is open to invited readers only. It doesn't look like you have been invited to read this blog. If you think this is a mistake, you might want to contact the blog author and request an invitation.”

What was God thinking!!!!

Ken wasn't particularly in a mood to finish up his food today so he asked for a loo break. I usually know when he's faking it just to take a break from the meal, but I was feeding the Little K so I let him go without examining the motives behind his request.

Half an hour later, I hear these broken sobs from the loo.

“OMG! Zipper malfunction,” I think and ask “What happened!”

The deluge

Little K has the unhappy habit of walking in her sleep. Not somnambulism type of walking. More like, “Open an eye - No parents in sight - There they are! - Walk over - Drop over them - Back to Sleep.” So we've all taken to sleeping on a big blanket on the floor in the drawing room, which is the only really baby-safe room in the house. She has enough freedom to sleep walk.

I'd gone to bed at 1:30 last night. Around 3 a.m., I heard a sound like waves lapping the shore. I'm not used to sleeping to the sound of lapping waves – no matter how peaceful they're supposed to make you feel.

Is your husband cheating on you?

The sure-fire way to tell of a man's been cheating on you is to observe him when he comes back to you.

1. He has that sheepish, not-meeting-your-eyes look on his face.
2. He greets the kids with exuberance, making some comment at them which is clearly meant to lay on the butter on you – and lay it on thick. E.g.: Oh! Have you been troubling your poor Mummy today?
3. And then he gets on with random chores Eg. He hangs up his trousers or washes his face like his life depended on it.
4. He's been at home for about 10 minutes and hasn't addressed one word to you.
5. When he can no longer ignore your presence without it becoming obvious, he comes and sits close by, all cuddly and snug, and then finds fault with your responsiveness. This from a man who says a quick Hi and pounces on the remote to switch to the sports channel.

That, my friend, is when you know, that he's been somewhere where he was treated real nice, smothered with food and adoration. That, my friend, is when you know he's been with....... your in-laws.

(Oops! Did you think I meant “the other woman” when I said cheating?)

Follow your bliss, Ma

The other day a friend of a friend made a statement in connection with long-suffering wives - “What are these women afraid of? Losing their marriage?” Even if losing their marriage was not in the offing, the possibility of poisoning it probably drives most long-suffering women. I've seen this happen in my Mom.

My mother, bless her, has many characteristics that I find terribly annoying. But the one I loathe and despise above all is her defeatist attitude. As the daughter of an extremely dynamic man, who wielded total domestic control, my mother was taught submission from the cradle. And she simply didn't explore her choices - ever.

Getting in touch with my evil side

For a person who's so vitriolic in my writing, I tend to be pretty easy-going in real life. When anyone is obnoxious, I prefer to ignore it rather than deal with it. All my life, I've reasoned that I can deal with the shitty stuff better than they can.

Even when someone really pisses me off, I've never said in so many words, “Now this thing you're doing is intrusive/unfair/mean. It is annoying. Stop it.” I've pretended not to notice it or laugh at it or wiggle out of the situation or admit I'm annoyed without attributing the cause to the annoyer.

Attacking assimilation

This post originates in three conversations I had over the past week with three completely diverse people. Two of them are in inter-religious marriages. The first couple have been in love in like... forever and she was talking about how nervous she was about having kids because they've been increasingly fighting over kids and religion.

Now I assume that somewhere over the last 18-19 years, one of them would say something like, "You know, honey, would it be OK by you if our kids were raised as Religion Xites." I mean, there's only so many sweet nothings you can say. At some point the Big Talk would creep in, you would think.